When I was in college, I worked part-time as a waitress to make money to pay my bills. Waitressing was a fun, stressful job and through it, I made quite a few friends from all kinds of different backgrounds. When I first started being a waitress, I was definitely not living the life of a Christian, even though I still talked about God and my belief in him frequently. Having fun was the most important thing to me at the time, so if someone else’s lifestyle seemed contradictory to the Bible, I definitely wasn’t going to be one to see it or point it out to them. Instead, I would say, “I just want you to be happy”. I cringe now thinking about how I could encourage people to live a life away from God so easily. I think of the wrong message I was sending out about the Gospel even now and pray that God sends someone to those people to show them the Truth. Gospel means good news and all I have them were temporary feel-good platitudes.

 

Of course, all that changed when I saw the world I was living in for what it really was, darkness holding me in chains of my own doing.  When I finally let it all go, and let God do what he does best – love, forgive, and heal; I started to see the problems with my way of thinking. How could I have claim to be a Christian and then tell people that there are many paths that lead to God? How could I claim to be a Christian and tell my homosexual and bisexual friends that God is love and wants all of us to feel loved yet keep quiet about the Gospel and the Cross as the true act of love? How could I be self-medicating through drugs and alcohol, trying to heal myself, while ignore God’s call to help me; while at the same time, trying to help others?  It made no sense!  My worldview was so out-of-whack that I took my “good intentions” to make Christians look cool and approachable and forgot the most important part, that I was talking to people who were eternally bound!
I was focused on temporary and changing earthly definitions when I should have been focused on the eternal finites!

 

Sometimes, I wish I could go back and change things.  I wish I could go back and change that sentence, “I only want you to be happy” to what I know now is infinitely better, “I want you to know the joy and peace God gives”. I wish instead of bonding over shared funny and stressful work experiences that instead, I could have been that believer who loved them fiercely and unconditionally like God does for all of us.
Sad to say, this happens to many believers, my story isn’t rare, especially in high school and college. They claim to still be Christians but their beliefs become dying versions of the actual Truth of God, desperately needing the living water to give them sustenance and help them bear good fruit.   They get bombarded with all the other “truths” out there. They get enticed away by what looks pleasing but is really draining them of true nourishment. The enemy uses the little bit of scripture they do know to twist it to his own purposes which are always to contradict God’s good will for our lives.
Perhaps you are like me; making those compromises for yourself and others. So, how do we talk to other believers and friends who have had their truth suffocated or twisted? Or how do we get back on good soil ourselves? To answer these questions, I have gone to two people who have worked with youth and young adults for years now.
First, I would like to introduce Eric Smith, a friend of mine, former Director of Summer Programs at Summit Ministries, now Pastor of East Campus at Front Range Alliance Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado.
Eric, how do you recommend someone talk to a friend or fellow believer who has walked away from their faith or whose beliefs have become secularized?

“Always start by asking questions, gracious and sincere questions. Obviously something has changed with our friend, and we want to know—not assume—what it is and why. There are different reasons for someone to weaken in their faith. They might be drifting away from Jesus because of a recent success or a hardship. Both (success and hardship) can weaken our faith, and if we want to help our friend, we need to know what’s going on. In fact, some of my most memorable and difficult (not always a bad thing) conversations were those in which I was asked questions, and given time to respond. In my case, friends asked normal, caring questions and exposed my professed but anemic faith at a time when I drifted from the Christian faith in college. The good thing about questions is their shelf life. They can live much longer than the conversation in which they were first asked.”

“Second, endure in love. Remember that agape love is doing good for another. Biblical, agape love is not delight. In these situations where we’re trying to reach out to a friend whose faith is weak, or who is living in blatant sin, we need our will more than we need our emotions. What might enduring love look like? It could be as simple, and as challenging, as staying in touch, especially when we get nothing in return for years, and perhaps even outright rejection.”  We are called to love as Christ loved the unclean  – the outcasts, the sinners, the sick, the untouchables!  We are to do it in the community but also to the people who God places in our lives – the ones we know are living against his will but we are called to give them the same grace, love, and mercy that our Father gives us!  Talk about a challenge!

I asked the following question to both of them.
For this question, let me also introduce my friend, Ashley Bouchillon, fellow member of Redeemer Presbyterian Charleston and Field Staff with Cru MidSouth, SC Lowcountry. What have you found are some of the main causes of young adults either compromising their walk with the Lord or leaving the faith entirely?  Ashley said:

“We need to remember that sin is alluring and attractive. Sin offers instant gratification and that feels good. One can experience acceptance in sex, comfort in pornography, pain diminishing when we drink heavily, etc… All of these, of course, are in the short-term, and they do affect our fellowship with God in a significant way. Sin is crouching at our doors, and it offers a short-term solution to a real need.”

Eric, naturally, had his own unique perspective on the question.

Eric pointed out that today’s society tells believers that their relationship with Christ is supposed to be private, lived out at home and in the church alone – spiritual but not intellectual, thoughtful nut not too emotional.  But Eric puts it very clearly when he says, “Jesus doesn’t want our faith to be personal and private. He asks us to live our Christian convictions in all areas of life, and tell others about the love of God in Jesus.”

As you read below, you will see that regardless of why our friends fall into temptations due to instant gratification or struggle under intellectual arguments against their faith; both Ashley and Eric agreed, when asked how to stay in a relationship with Christ that all believers, especially young adults need to be taught how to study their Bibles, be in the Word regularly, and need to be in communication with God and other believers.

Ashley says, “Apart from studying God’s word and walking in the Spirit, we’re not going to be able to resist temptation very long. When sin is crouching at my door, I want to be able to say, “No, I’m not going to participate in that because I’ve experienced the one true God and his love is better than, x,y,z.”.

Eric says, “Some Christians coast, claiming to be followers of Jesus without truly orienting their lives around Jesus and his commands.  We know Satan prowls around like a lion, looking for the Christian to devour (1 Pet. 5:8).” 

Sadly, when believers aren’t in the Word and having their own personal relationship with God, they can’t resist temptation and they do get devoured far too easily.

My final question to both Ashley and Eric was this, “What do you recommend for upcoming generations to decrease the numbers of young adults who fall into these categories?”

For this question, Eric’s response comes from someone who studies the Word and the works of other Christian authors. He recommends to start reading and researching what else is out there that aligns with Biblical truths. He recommends a book by Steven Garber that is called The Fabric of Faithfulness, in which Steven makes three recommendations for gaining a strong, adult faith. “First, we must develop a Christian faith that’s big enough for the world. This will take study and thought, but the confidence gained is worth it. Garber’s second point: we need to have a mature Christian person or two in our lives that live out a Christian faith through the ups and downs of life. Finally, we need a worshipping community that reinforces these beliefs. We need to be regularly reminded through songs, sermons, prayers and conversations with other believers, that the Christian worldview is true, that God is always near, and that he loves us.”

Ashley’s response comes from someone who loves the Word of God, and spends her time on college campuses, evangelizing and mentoring. She says that their team spends time on campuses teaching students to be disciples of Christ. “We want to build students up in their faith so that they can walk with Christ for a lifetime and send them out to introduce Christ to others. We long to see our students equipped to be lights no matter where they go after college– both to those who have never known Christ and to those that need to be led back to him.” To do this, she maintains a singular focus – “that we always have a need for the gospel. Believing the gospel is what begins our relationship with Christ and what continues to sustain that relationship. We need to be reminded that God loves us and has a purpose for our lives, that our sin separates us from him, and that Jesus is the only one able to make us right with God. Once we’ve put our trust in that, we can be confident that our position with Christ will never change. God is still God and they are still loved by him and still have a need for him.”

As you can see, whether you are someone who has allowed their belief system to become secularized, has a shallow walk with God, or are a friend of someone whose walk with the Lord is slipping more and more into oblivion – there are ways to fight against the lies and to be strong. Make no mistake, there will be hindrances and obstacles put in your way to keep you from the grace of God. Our commitment to God doesn’t come because it is easy but out of a deep knowledge of him, his truth, and our understanding of our need for him. That is the only way we can stay true to him, if we focus on him.

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.” – Jeremiah 17:7-8